Overcoming Grief: Being Beside Oneself

This blog is peppered with various strategies for moving through emotional turmoil. Tonight, I experienced a new strategy that was more efficient than others I’ve used so far.

Wednesday’s are transition days for me, and they stand as a reminder of where my life is not how I had planned. Having the day off made today a less distracted and thus a more emotionally charged Wednesday than usual.

While sitting with my emotions, I used my usual alchemy techniques and while the edges were less sharp, the heaviness of grief still weighed on me. It was then that I felt myself “beside myself.” Then I began to assure my “beside self” that I had every right to feel every bit of what I was feeling; even down to my desires to smash things, which weren’t okay desires to follow through, yet I acknowledged they were okay to feel.

So now I sit, no longer needing to be beside myself, reintegrated, and more at peace with myself and this situation. Yes, there is still some work to do, yet it already feels that much better.

May we each find our inner path to peace, understanding that what we feel is what we feel and it’s really okay to feel; self-validation. Understanding that just because we feel it doesn’t mean we must live it. And that blocking our feelings prevents us from fully living.


Celebrating more than Grieving

When my soul passes from this world, it is my hope that those left behind celebrate my life more than grieve the loss of it.  As such, I am now choosing to celebrate more than grieve.

It is easy for me to focus on what I have “lost” this past year. Two days ago, many suppressed emotions hit me like a freight train after I was stood up. I was blind-sided by well-hidden and suppressed anger towards men, guilt for breaking up the family, and deeply-seated fears of abandonment and rejection.

By sitting through these emotions, allowing them to just express themselves without getting attached to them with statements like, “No, I don’t hate men,” or “yes, I’m a bad mother,” I was able to allow the beliefs to become neutral and no longer charged. It was hard as hell, yet worth the effort to become free of the charges.

I had been holding onto grief as if it were my job! I realize I had subconsciously packed up emotions and physical possessions. Now I am sorting through it all with an open heart and mind. Today I see that if I want to stop grieving, then I need to start celebrating!

Today I choose to celebrate:

  • being a mom that is freed from many of her own fears.
  • the relationships with men who are present and supportive warriors.
  • having a lighter home with fewer things to pack, move and unpack.
  • the light, will and strength within.
  • the freedom within to choose new ways of being.
  • that what is meant for me will never miss me.

May we all find the freedom to celebrate more than grieve today and every day. I hope you will join me in your own way! Feel free to share the things that you choose to start celebrating today.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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