Learning to Receive

We have been taught to be fiercely independent, to do as much as we can to prove ourselves worthy. I see this often with new moms who are literally juggling a baby, baby equipment and busy schedules; wanting to do everything with minimal to no help. Yet, in reality, none of us can be truly independent. We rely on others for medicine, food, roads, cars, phones, utilities and public service. How does this desire to be fiercely independent serve us? Better yet, does it?

Honestly, I believe this need to prove ourselves is borne out of fear. We do not feel ourselves worthy to receive from others, and we do not want to rely on others to be there when we need them. In fact, I believe this fierce independence is a reaction to being afraid to receive love. For to rely on others and to receive their love leaves us feeling vulnerable. Yet, how can we expect to open our hands and our hearts if we cannot tolerate vulnerability?

Yes, you can also argue that you don’t want to be indebted to anyone. I get it. I’ve lived it. Yet, sometimes others receive joy when they give to others. When we block the sharing from someone else, we prevent them from receiving their own joy through sharing. So in this case is it really more selfish to block the receiving of blessings, or is it more selfish to receive?

Having been a mother with her hands filled with babies and baby related things, I remember how exhausting it was to feel like I had to do it all. One day, someone held open the door for me and I allowed it. Since that day, I have been more open to receiving help from others. No one is ever truly alone. So why keep pushing away the help that others want to give? Why fear receiving love, receiving help, or feeling vulnerable?

May we each become a little more vulnerable today, allowing more love into our hearts, receiving what is meant to be. 

Namaste

Giving the gift of giving

ID-100179140“Gracious acceptance is an art – an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving…. Accepting another person’s gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you.” – Alexander McCall Smith, Love Over Scotland

It is amazing for me to see how many who are service-minded have such trouble in receiving even an ounce of what they give to others day in and day out. This is not a balanced way to live. Does the grapevine, in producing its fruits for the world to enjoy shun the sunlight, water and nutrients it needs in which to thrive? If it did, it would not produce good fruit for long. Why, then, my lovely friends do we shy away from receiving from others all that we so willingly give to them?

In order for us to thrive, we need to learn to receive. If we continue on this path of only giving, our vines will produce raisins and not luscious grapes. We cannot make wine from raisins!

I encourage each of us to begin to learn to receive. We need our cups to be filled in order to be able to fill, or even share, with others. So when others want to give you something, please receive their gift. If you can, receive it graciously. You, my friend, are worthy of self-love and self-care. Only giving and not receiving is an unbalanced equation.

Give someone else the gift of giving to you.

Namaste.

Image courtesy of Stoonn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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