We have been taught to be fiercely independent, to do as much as we can to prove ourselves worthy. I see this often with new moms who are literally juggling a baby, baby equipment and busy schedules; wanting to do everything with minimal to no help. Yet, in reality, none of us can be truly independent. We rely on others for medicine, food, roads, cars, phones, utilities and public service. How does this desire to be fiercely independent serve us? Better yet, does it?
Honestly, I believe this need to prove ourselves is borne out of fear. We do not feel ourselves worthy to receive from others, and we do not want to rely on others to be there when we need them. In fact, I believe this fierce independence is a reaction to being afraid to receive love. For to rely on others and to receive their love leaves us feeling vulnerable. Yet, how can we expect to open our hands and our hearts if we cannot tolerate vulnerability?
Yes, you can also argue that you don’t want to be indebted to anyone. I get it. I’ve lived it. Yet, sometimes others receive joy when they give to others. When we block the sharing from someone else, we prevent them from receiving their own joy through sharing. So in this case is it really more selfish to block the receiving of blessings, or is it more selfish to receive?
Having been a mother with her hands filled with babies and baby related things, I remember how exhausting it was to feel like I had to do it all. One day, someone held open the door for me and I allowed it. Since that day, I have been more open to receiving help from others. No one is ever truly alone. So why keep pushing away the help that others want to give? Why fear receiving love, receiving help, or feeling vulnerable?
May we each become a little more vulnerable today, allowing more love into our hearts, receiving what is meant to be.