Learning to Receive

We have been taught to be fiercely independent, to do as much as we can to prove ourselves worthy. I see this often with new moms who are literally juggling a baby, baby equipment and busy schedules; wanting to do everything with minimal to no help. Yet, in reality, none of us can be truly independent. We rely on others for medicine, food, roads, cars, phones, utilities and public service. How does this desire to be fiercely independent serve us? Better yet, does it?

Honestly, I believe this need to prove ourselves is borne out of fear. We do not feel ourselves worthy to receive from others, and we do not want to rely on others to be there when we need them. In fact, I believe this fierce independence is a reaction to being afraid to receive love. For to rely on others and to receive their love leaves us feeling vulnerable. Yet, how can we expect to open our hands and our hearts if we cannot tolerate vulnerability?

Yes, you can also argue that you don’t want to be indebted to anyone. I get it. I’ve lived it. Yet, sometimes others receive joy when they give to others. When we block the sharing from someone else, we prevent them from receiving their own joy through sharing. So in this case is it really more selfish to block the receiving of blessings, or is it more selfish to receive?

Having been a mother with her hands filled with babies and baby related things, I remember how exhausting it was to feel like I had to do it all. One day, someone held open the door for me and I allowed it. Since that day, I have been more open to receiving help from others. No one is ever truly alone. So why keep pushing away the help that others want to give? Why fear receiving love, receiving help, or feeling vulnerable?

May we each become a little more vulnerable today, allowing more love into our hearts, receiving what is meant to be. 


The Law of Returns


If we want more then we need to be willing to give more.

Want someone to love you? Love that person first. If everyone is waiting for the other to step forward, then no one does.

To gain trust, trust others and yourself more. Be vulnerable to those you want to be vulnerable to you.

Feel like everyone protects themselves in armor, where are you guarding against love?

Feel that someone is cheating you, where are you cheating that person or, better yet, yourself?

We can only receive the things that we are also willing to give.

Shame – “Something is wrong with me”& Guilt – “I did something wrong” block our ability to give and to receive. Where do you feel these emotions? Dig deeply and investigate fully. The rewards you will reap will bestow you with a new light on life.

Feeling abandoned? Where have you abandoned yourself?

Feeling punished? Where are you punishing yourself?

Personally, I believe sinning is where we have turned away from Love. If you believe yourself to be a sinner, where have you turned away from Yourself? If you struggle with this answer, then a quick GPS is: Where did your caregivers not love you enough? 

Breathe through and be with whatever comes up. Emotions want to move, not stay stuck within you. Allow them to exit. You no longer need to suffer, Dear One. It’s okay to not feel okay. The pain is temporary when we allow it to leave.


images: google

Falling in love


Like a newborn baby, I swaddle in love all of the parts of me that feel:





I wrap my heart around those pieces that feel:


afraid to be naked, exposed or seen

afraid to love…and to be loved…and to receive or give love.


With each moment that I allow more love for me, the more I am able to love you.

I give love to those parts of me that have held me back. They did so, out of the only love they ever knew, which was fear. Now they receive my attention and the tension resolves. They melt like butter in the hot sun of my own love.

Please join me today is giving yourself a little bit more love, compassion and grace. The small things do add up.

Receive your own gifts. For as we each learn to receive our own love for ourselves,  we free ourselves to both give more love to and receive more love from others.


Photo by author, 2011

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