The Waves: An Homage to Lord Shiva

Lord Shiva is both the creator and destroyer in Buddhism traditions.
This poem pays tribute to his role.

The waves carry messages from afar

The message of love for the shore

receptivity, reciprocity

The Atlantic offers rare,

finely curled tubular waves today

Rays of sunlight caress their tops

As they rise up and crest,

Riding on swift moving feet

to their final destination.

Sea mist tangentially blows back

to the ocean, the source

As if


the pending

destruction of

The wave

As it

makes love

to the sand.

The sun and ever changing clouds

Bear witness to the coupling of the waves,

Looking down from above

To honor the beauty of such


The wave

Crashing hard today

Rarely caressing

The receptive shore.

Feels more like fucking.

The booming sounds escape

As he folds over in

His final act.


The bass excites the witness,

It represents

The pleasure and release

As the wave meets its death.

Once spent,

The wave disintegrates

Leaving the shore to be once again its own

In its final approach and retraction,

Shifting her foundation,

bringing her to a new perspective

Smoothing out her rough edges.

She cannot be help

But be affected.

Bulkheads and jetties

Are foolish attempts

to block his effects

His affections

Blocking the wave’s love for her

Causing him to rise up in greater fury

At her rejection of his very essence

His very purpose.

The wave a Phoenix

In the water element,

Broken down

Only to be reborn.

As he flows under the next

incoming wave,

He caresses her,

attempting to grasp his lover

With his fluid fingers

Which can only carry fine pieces of her

and only momentarily.


Returning to the source

For his inevitable rebirth

Rising up once again.

Until then,

The shore shifts slightly, rhythmically

with each approach

and awaits the return

of her lover.



35 minutes

The Fountain

I want to drink more and more

heavily from your fountain,

To understand the waters of your truth.

Dripping, spilling

from my lips

Falling, trailing

down my breasts.

To have spent half a lifetime

Thirsty, for your living waters.

Only receiving from others

your essence

Sometimes just drops at a time (if at all).

For oh so long feeling so misunderstood

Shamed and isolated.

The moment of recognition in being

felt and appreciated,

even celebrated

Led me to rush and push

To gulp you instead of savoring and sipping.

To desire more of your languid liquidity

To fill my once empty mouth,

And each empty space.

Then to thrust mine upon you

For you to drink…

All has left my head left spinning,


Disoriented, all of my being

turned upside down,

flipped over

Like a good fuck.

Dripping wet are my lips

with my desire for more, and more

from your fountain…


Photo by dan

Letter to The Creator: Leap of Faith



If You created Everything and Everything is You, then We are all You. We are ALL One. If You are Love, then to Be is to Love.

We are all cut from the same fabric, so although We can appear different and act different from One another Our origin is the same, You.

You created Us, and gave Us the ability to pro-create through making love (if You are Love, then we are Making more of You, is that not one of the best ways to connect with You?)

So tell me, please, why is it that so many find the body, Your Temple and pro-creation of more bodies as sinful, egregious and shameful?

If We are You, and You made Us in Your Image, and through making love We create more images of You, then how is this bad? How is sharing Love and creating more of You/Us a sin?

Better yet, what is sin? It would stand to reason that sin would be defined as anything against You, and You are Love, and we are You, then sin (by this reasoning) would be not-Love or Hatred of You/Ourselves.

So if Self-Hatred is the sin, then so are shame and guilt, and hating our bodies and what they can do and what they can create (both through making love and our life purposes). Sin would also be hating others, as You also created Them and They are Us (even though They are different versions of Us).

So for Us to live in peace down here, what We really need to do is learn to Love Ourselves, Our bodies and STOP the guilting and the shaming and the hating of Ourselves and Others, as these are the ways that we turn away from You.

Thank You for tuning in and helping me through this sequence.


Author’s note: This is addressed to You, the reader, for each of us is part of The Creator. (A great movie along this thread is “Nine,” you might find it interesting). Happy Creating!


Photo by suphakit73 at


A Deeper Look at Polyamory and Monogamy: What is our true nature?


In the age of changing attitudes and behaviors about sex, the idea of polyamory seems to come up more and more frequently. While I believe that sexual behaviors should be ultimately determined by consenting participants, here I explore what I believe the evidence shows is our true nature as humans.

Historically & Religiously

Raised in the Bible Belt and having lived in the city that CBN calls home, one can acquire some rather idealistic views of sex and proper sexual behavior. Historically, the Christian religion has heavily influenced peoples’ outward expression of sexuality. According to Reay Tannahill in Sex in History, monogamy was a social construct reinforced by early Christianity. Monogamy was then the only way to determine paternal lineage for the inheritance of property. Basically, polyamory was deep-sixed because men didn’t know who their sons were to give them their rightful land.


Raised in the 80’s as a product of the 70’s, I was going through puberty when George Michael was straight and implored us to view sex as being “best when it’s one-on-one” in his Top-40’s hit, “I Want Your Sex.” This propaganda was most born out of the then constant fear of AIDS; something that killed many people and was still largely misunderstood. The music video and song were widely controversial. Some radio stations went so far as to silence “sex” when the song played.

Now in the next century after AIDS is less scary, more and more people are exploring their sexuality in new ways and it is becoming more mainstream. I say with my tongue in my cheek that Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James brought BDSM from the fringes and into living rooms across America. While many of those in the BDSM community disagree with the discrepancies between actual BDSM practices and James’ book (particularly the recantation of consent), it did serve the function of opening many doors about sexual practices that were once very much hidden from public view. It seems cultural norms about sex are changing, as a result.


The further I travel down the spiritual path, the more I see the obstacles that I and others have built to love. From a spiritual and energetic standpoint monogamy seems based in lack both in its purported origin per Tannahill and in the stinginess beneath its thin veneer: “My companion does not have the capacity to love me enough, much less to love you, too. So I get to stay and you need to go away.” Polyamory, on the other hand, seems to support the idea that love is boundless and can be shared between many.

Functionally (physically)

As a physical therapist, most of the clients I treat are women with pelvic pain. Regardless of the client’s diagnosis, I screen for pain, as it can inhibit outcomes when treating other pelvic floor conditions. This means I ask many women across the lifespan if they are sexually active, as some have constant pain and others only during intercourse.

In hearing many responses over the years, I am often saddened to hear when one of my clients is celibate either due to her partner’s medical conditions or sexual dysfunction, or because she has  excruciating pain with sex. While it’s nice when I hear some women shyly whisper, “we have other ways of being intimate,”I cannot help but wonder if a polyamorous relationship would be more functional.

Functionally (mentally)

For myself, being faithful while in a monogamous relationship for half of my life, my eyes were never blind. Meaning that though I kept my body faithful, my eyes and mind certainly wandered. And I can tell you, I wasn’t the only one

This reminds me of the question posited in the film “Eyes Wide Shut,” is the fantasy equivalent to the physical act of cheating? My next question is: what if the two had already agreed upon having a polyamorous relationship?

The clencher: who honestly does not have at least one sexual fantasy involving more than one sexual partner? or someone other than your current partner?

It’s Evolution, baby!

Just as ants from different colonies fight, sperm from different men fight when they meet. In fact, some sperm act as guards to fight against and attack another man’s sperm entering the cervix. Given the Darwinian concept of the survival of fitness, this makes me wonder if we are genetically making our species weaker by missing out on the epic battle of the gametes? (Now go watch the movie “Idiocracy.”)


While I can see the phallacy of monogamy from more than one perspective, my heels dig in when I think past fantasy to the ins and outs of polyamory. Perhaps it’s a vestige of chastity, which is ironic given that sexual promiscuity is generally much easier for women to obtain than men, yet women bear the shame.

While I have broken many of my mother’s rules for “what good girls don’t do,” practicing polyamory seems to be a challenge for me.  Even while I’ve been in several non-committed relationships in the past year, I cannot seem to break through the idea of seeing them concurrently; weeks and months separate  the time between different lovers.

For me to begin to be accepting of polyamory for myself, I need to feel far less vulnerable physically and sexually. Oppressive levels of vulnerability slow down my desire to express myself sexually in such an open way. Oh, and then behind vulnerability is the fear of being the only person left behind at the party: enter rejection.

Even with all of these areas that support polyamory, it seems that serial monogamy is where I am most comfortable. For now, I leave it as something for me to explore further. So the jury is hung, hopefully well.

Note: each pun and double entendre was indeed intentional.

Here is a great article written by a fellow blogger  The New Sexy: Women Over 40. It gives some amazing insights into how women over 40 are, well, different.

Photo by t0zz at

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