Obligatory Sex

Trigger warning for survivors and cosurvivors of sexual abuse or assault.  As a physical therapist who works with (mostly) women with pelvic pain and dysfunction, I am reading “Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life” by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. Many of my clients either cannot have sex atContinue reading “Obligatory Sex”

Escaping My Story

dissociative amnesia is considered a mental illness. for me, I consider it a blessing. For without dissociating sexual trauma, I would have lost my mind. For the very people who were my protectors abused me over many years at an age before I knew my full name, much less how to spell it. for overContinue reading “Escaping My Story”

Trust

In looking over the broken shards Placed in jars, A greater understanding comes over me. It was simple to see where my Lack of trust was born, Oh so early. To have submitted to his seduction and manipulation, Before I could have known what was even happening, nor what he was taking; my sweet innocence.Continue reading “Trust”

Where the Wild Roses Grow: A Story of Murder

Walking down the bay beach,  heading West, the sun setting behind the chesapeake bay bridge a 17.5 mile expanse that glows golden in the setting sun. reminds her of when she came undone. ~~ imagine to her surprise as the  sand began to  glow also before her eyes. it was golden and glittery; but asContinue reading “Where the Wild Roses Grow: A Story of Murder”

Stranger Danger: A Few Thoughts

As a survivor of sexual abuse committed  by people who were playing the role of my protectors and caregivers, I scoff at the idea of teaching my children the concept of stranger danger. This may seem counter-intuitive, allow me to explain.  Sometimes strangers are the ones that help when in an emergency. I don’t wantContinue reading “Stranger Danger: A Few Thoughts”

Sleeping Beauty: The Backstory of my Sexual Shame and Years of Abuse

Pictured here in 2014, my weight was my cocoon. This picture was a catalyst for me that something needed to change! With each ounce of shame I heal, the more weight I lose; 50 lbs and counting, removed. Some friends who haven’t seen me since 2014 or early 2015, often don’t recognize me now. And I don’tContinue reading “Sleeping Beauty: The Backstory of my Sexual Shame and Years of Abuse”

Shame about Sexuality

Shame. It fills the crags, crevices Each nook and cranny in my mind. (No wonder I seek for love and Attention to fill it.) Shame is Buried deep below the floor, The things I didn’t want to Think or feel anymore. His hands on my oh so young body, His grandson on top of me.Continue reading “Shame about Sexuality”

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