There was something inside that I wanted to hide. The true name of what it was that caused my shame was unknown to me. I could see some of the situations from my childhood in which it seemed to be rooted. And I had spent nearly a decade tugging up various “weeds” to get toContinue reading “Return to Innocence”
Tag Archives: shame
Insomnia: The Pot of Guilt at The End of My Sleepless Rainbow
For the past few weeks my ability to stay asleep at night has been very much hit-or-miss. I have played with varying bedtimes, reducing my overall caffeine intake and screen/TV times at night, while increasing my night time meditation. I’ve also tried dietary changes including increased magnesium intake (through oil and citrate), and even takingContinue reading “Insomnia: The Pot of Guilt at The End of My Sleepless Rainbow”
Culture of Punishment: It’s a Shame
Motivation through punishment makes things harder if our goal is to become our greatness. Self-flagellation tears at our flesh. Wounds then need tending and time to heal. Furthermore, how can we climb the peaks of our greatest potentials when we have a backpack filled with shame, guilt and other “unpacked” emotions? Leave the kitchen sinkContinue reading “Culture of Punishment: It’s a Shame”
Shame to Blame
Oh wow! Amazing realization Came to fruition A shame to blame myself For the actions of others Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Really, WTF?! GTFO! Yet, guilty, all my life It was my fault if YOU did Something bad to me! Walking the thin red line Of being good, of being chaste-like Of being fat and dressingContinue reading “Shame to Blame”
Blame
A head game One misstep Begins head trip Where No one wins Beast awakens Blood-thirsty Eyes set on me Whips Chains Self-flagellation Castigation Pronation Loss of vision Flesh ripping Burning Bleeding Conceding Little girl Blamed For sins Upon own flesh By grown men No one wins Where Head trip begins One misstep A head gameContinue reading “Blame”
Value Unknown x Four
Putting the Damage On 2014.02.13 I told him I didn’t like cut flowers for the pain they must have felt. No, don’t buy me a diamond ring. No, I won’t wear white at our wedding. My worth the inverse of repleted; something he further depleted. At some point I died, no longer being seen. Related poem:Continue reading “Value Unknown x Four”
Shame: The Thief in the Night
If Wheaties is the breakfast of Champions, Shame then is the breakfast of the opposition. Shame robs us, blinds us, confines us. Whether we are aware of it or not; it takes from us our vitality, as if a vampire. yet it is us sucking our own selves dry. Shame about our bodies inhibits their peak performance; blocksContinue reading “Shame: The Thief in the Night”
Numbers: The Erasure
“three standard deviations” i am the normal to your standard deviation of 3. i love your flirtations, yet they trigger a lot of “unworthy” in me. i fear your love, your affection, your adoration. like water poured on rock, all is lost to evaporation. ~~~~ erasure since before we separated, parted in the night, i’ve been tryingContinue reading “Numbers: The Erasure”
The Weighting Game
So sad to see this beautiful woman, looking at her weight/her worth and being aghast…. The game where when weight you gain, you only lose your worth. The game where when weight you lose, you gain, maybe. Self-love, self-respect, self-acceptance can still be elusive, in skinny jeans. The game where your worth is inversely proportional toContinue reading “The Weighting Game”
Food Addiction: Eating as Punishment
As a young girl, I leanred to “use” food as a drug to supress strong emotions that were punished, heavily discouraged and suppressed in my family. The message was that it was not ok to emote, whether positive or negative. To carry strong emotions triggered an adult, the child was punished. Without the ability toContinue reading “Food Addiction: Eating as Punishment”
