my heart & lungs expand to breathe into the new horizons
as the crepe myrtles fan their sweet scent into the summer bay breezes
showing off their show-stopping plumage like well-adorned & bejeweled fingers in multiple shades of white, lavender, & pink

the warm summer air caresses my skin as the sun beams down,
heating it just enough to whet my summer appetite
yet without breaking a sweat
so much feels just so effing right

there is a newfound (or re-found) joy & lightness in witnessing
the dragon flies dancing in zig zags while
their deft wings slice through the summer air (like they just don’t care)
eating their weight in gnats & biting insects who had no chance
while rising up innocently from the grasses
as the summer sun shifts slowly past its zenith towards its nightly resting place

this is my favorite kind of summer day in this, my favorite season:
a nearly cloudless sky without the insane heat & humidity
an absolute rarity for these parts especially this time o year
& it is a high contrast to the excessive heat warnings & high af humidity
of all 3 (or more) days prior

my heart blossoms while soaking in the beauties all around me
a new awareness moves into my being
some, & certainly not all, things that were of great annoyance last week,
things which felt like sharp pebbles inside walking shoes,
are dull in comparison or barely seen this week
with minimal to no judgment nor emotional attachment
moksha

breathworks, ketamine dreams & committing to a new level of grace have each opened prana, the breath of life, into new breathing spaces
facilitating & supporting the letting go of emotions & conditions
once held too close to the chest & acting as an internal noose across my larynx
anger, resentment, sadness, & longing have been replaced with ease & grace
forgiveness for others, most of all the self …
it feels that i could swim for-eva into eternity in these pristine waters
as i write & reflect i feel replete that is …

until all feels almost completely undone within 30 short minutes of hearing kids repeatedly back & forth with their bickering
while i attempt to mediate the rails of the storm, my energy just adds to the rising cacophony ~ I really could know by now the futility of dampening the wildfires of sibling rivalry; where it seems any attempt just adds fuel to the fire

my burgeoning sense of peace overshadowed quickly
with feelings of forlorn, of brokenness
reminders of how the intentions of opening
into new spaces brings
the places that are closed
to the front & center
for further inspection,
deliberation & making of decisions
1. to take the higher path:
one thus far less traveled & yet to be blazed in this way
= or =
2. to stay the course:
condemnation through repeating the neurology of the well-lain pathways of past choosing

& so it is with grace, a cycle repeatedly welling-up new opportunities, revealing all the baren places within that hold tightly to the beliefs of judgement
& of not-love

humbled, (though at times it feels hobbled) yet again

rinse & repeatedly repeat
the tides of breath
the ebb & the flow
forever cycling
bringing in & taking away
an effervescence of quintessence for the love of equanimity
i am grace: i forgive & am forgiven …
a center restored (again) on rising tides that will lower again
to reveal the muck & mud

no mud, no lotus

 ‘If you think you’re enlightened, spend a week* with your family.‘

Ram Dass

*or less than 30 minutes if they’re your kids and they’re fighting yet again ♥️

{image: pexels}

copyright 2023 & 2024 tiffany c. all rights reserved