Unfiltered from the heart

sinking into the well
to learn of it secrets &
to feel what I hadn’t wanted
to feel

with a pocket full of posies
i had fallen
down
down
down

in allowing myself to sink
into the densest of the densities
sitting in the muck & the mire
its -ness squishing between my toes
i sat still & without a sound

the seed of a feeling began
to sprout & take form
once i allowed it to breathe
in a flash, i saw all the places
& unfriendly spaces
inside my being
in which i had recently
felt absolutely & completely
(& a few of times just slightly)
overwhelmed

needless to say
quite suddenly
the feeling
was stifling
suffocating
like an asthma attack
on a hot & humid day of
summer with the sun
at its zenith

so i sat some more
& focused on where
where i had repeatedly
ignored & pushed
down
this feeling
this feeling of overwhelm

in allowing the feeling to expand
& take form
in allowing myself to name it
& call it as it was
oh, you better believe
i will say it like it is, Voldemort

now that i could see it
i could choose to
keep hold of it or to hand it over
to something much greater …

there is no way to know for sure the form
for myself on this day,
Sekhmet’s fires immediately
came to my mind’s eye
& soon after i saw the hand
was it of the Creator?
(you may choose your own form)

THEN things again began
to quickly transform
in another flash
i was floating
up
like bubbles rising
up &
up
through the densities
that had once been
holding me
down

in summary:
the hand had helped
me to rise back
up
out of the muck
just by naming & choosing
to hand over to the hand
the overwhelm
once done, the feelings
no longer holding me tf
down
& once again
i was able to rise tf back
up

later in the morning, i did share a prayer request with a friend
as more “fit hit the shan” … prior to this, however, i was feeling a bit more spry – definitely more so than i’d have been had i remained mired in that muckty muck of the previously unseen, unnamed & long held overwhelm…

{image: pexels}

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